Chase

Jan. 19th, 2012 10:50 am
[personal profile] ame_agaru
Title: Chase
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto.
Prompt: I have to start getting attractive soon. ; Only handsome men have boyfriends. ; An M-ish rated fan fiction (M-ish since I don’t think I havethe skills and guts to write a lemon. I do own a slightly perverted mind.)
Summary: Every time she tries reaching out to them, her hands meet thin air. Staring at their retreating backs leaves an unpleasant taste in her mouth and a hollow space in her heart. Though sometimes, the ones left behind are not always alone.

Chase

-*-


“I have to start getting attractive soon.”

You look at her like she had just grown another head. Junko momentarily lay forgotten on the floor along with the orange book you’ve been so intent on reading for the past hour. You try digesting her words. You hearyourself cough an “Excuse me?” as you continue regarding her with something akin to worry.

“I said I have to start getting attractive soon!” she repeats, now fully looking at you. She then notices the orange book – your beloved orange book – lying on the floor. “Uhhh, Kakashi? You dropped your book.”

You follow her line of sight, sigh, pick the book and decide to ignore her.

After a few minutes of complete silence, you suddenly hear her sigh. Resisting the urge to sigh in return you ask, “What’s the matter?”

“Well...”

“Hm?”

“I want to be attractive.” She plays with the ends of her hair as she looks forward with a certain dreamy expression.

At that very moment, you find her the most attractive woman in the world.

(Later on, you correct yourself. You always find her breathtaking.)

She doesn't need to worry about being unattractive, really.

You clear your throat, lest your thoughts accidentally get voiced out. Still, your lips betray you as a single word slips from it, “Why?” As some sort of damage control you try to make your face as blank as possible. Yet deep inside, you are frowning, wondering how the hell your mind can come up with that ridiculous thought. Again.

“Yes. Again.” You inwardly sigh.

She looks at you, her dreamy face replaced with curiosity.Slowly, she leans towards you, her face just a few inches from yours.

You can feel the butterflies living in your stomach go on a stampede.

Fortunately, for you and your stomach, she pulls away and sighs again. You shortly wonder if this day is some sort of a sighing day. You are about to dwell on it when you hear her speak.

“Well, I want to have a boyfriend.”

“I’ll gladly be yours.” You hear yourself say inwardly.

Noting your (forced) indifference, she continues, “You see, I feel kind of pathetic and unloved.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

"Lee still loves you very much." you tease her.

"I - nevermind."

You mutter a noncommittal ‘hmm’ before flipping your book to find the page where you stopped.

After another minute she mumbles, “Sasuke’s got one.”

You again quirk your eyebrow. Besides the butterflies in your stomach, you can also feel some whale living in it. What else can explain that certain heavy feeling you experience after hearing her say his name with that much emotion.You can’t help asking her, “I thought you got over him? Are you jealous of his girlfriend?”

“Boyfriend,” she corrects.

“Excuse me?”

“Sasuke’s got a boyfriend. And I’m not jealous. Of the boyfriend. I don’t even like him that way anymore.”

You feel slightly relieved at hearing that. Still, you can’t help but wonder what exactly she is thinking as of the moment. “Well, lots of people say he’s pretty. No wonder he’s got a boyfriend now,” you snicker. You thought that making fun of your former student will make her feel better; however, it only brought about the opposite.

“I’m sorry for not being pretty,” she pouts.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Lucky him.Kakashi-sensei thinks he’s pretty. And the only girl that became his student looks pathetic for him. Maybe you're the one jealous of the boyfriend!" she sniggers.

“Oi!” You take offense at her words, especially at how she dragged the word sensei.

You want to make her feel better that's why you said those words. You really think that she’s pretty. You just can’t tell her that directly. Trying to change the direction of your conversation you say, “Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re attractive. Your perspective at things are so narrow, Sakura. So does that mean that as long as someone is attractive, you’ll go date that person? Wouldn’t you consider other things such as personality, brains, etc.?”

“Of course I do consider those things! I was just telling you that I wanted to be attractive. And being attractive raises my chance, you know,” Sakura huffs. “Whatever. Nowadays, only handsome men get boyfriends," she mutters, cheeks jutting out slightly in indignation.

"Well, I don't have one," you joke. She just stares at you blankly before continuing what she was saying earlier. "Back to my point, what I'm saying before you interrupted me with your ego about your non-existent handsomeness is that it doesn’t matter if I’m attractive or not,” she mutters.

“You are,” you mumble before you can even stop yourself.

“What did you say?” You can hear the pitch of her voice rise just half an octave upon your confession. A confession that is not quite one;at the moment, you really don’t care to determine what exactly it is. Because at that specific moment, all you can think about is –

“Uh-oh.Damage control.”

“I think you’re pretty.” You reiterate your words earlier, now only much clearer and direct. You decide that being honest while trying to look cool and indifferent is the only way out of the current situation. Besides, it’s not as if you’d confessed your undying love to her earlier.

A sharp intake of breath could be heard. And then you hold your breathe.

“I've been in love with you for years," you think as you try wondering what reaction she has. Is she elated? Flattered? Angry? Indignant? Disgusted?

You now look at her only to let your breathe be taken away.

She looks exactly like her namesake, with cheeks tinged in pink and shoulders slightly higher than normal. It is as if she has seen a ghost, or something equivalently shocking. After a few seconds, you realize that it is not you whom you heard inhaling deeply as if your sanity depended on it.

It is she.

Shocked at the turn of events, you decide that the best next course of action is to flee from the scene of the crime.

“Bye.”

You escape with a puff of smoke.

- - - -

It has been three weeks since you last saw her. One has been for avoiding her and the last two was spent on a mission. As you near the gates of your beloved village, you do image training of how you will be able to continue this game of hide-and-seek.

You really want to see her, you think. And though three weeks has passed since that incident, you can't help but keep your guard up to keep your secret.

A pat on your back snaps you out of your thoughts. Looking behind you, you see her all battered and weary.

'Oh, she was on a mission too.' You sigh and wonder if the gods are messing up with you. Going home exactly at the same time as her when you're determined to not see her for another month is a coincidence that only happens once in a blue moon.

"Yo," you try greeting in a nonchalant way.

Her reply of pouting puzzles you. And then she sighs. And in a second she beams again as her hand shoots up to grab your arm. "I'm hungry Kakashi. Let's go to Ichiraku."

The amusement you might have felt at the sudden changes in her expression is left forgotten as your arm she holds feels incredibly warm. And so are your cheeks.

(Later that day you congratulate your mask for a job well done.)

You can hear her continued chatter as you both go to Ichiraku. The words are forgotten as your mind can only focus about how it will feel if only her hand moved lower and nestled into yours.

You hide behind your book as a defense mechanism.

"Tch. And here I thought you were avoiding me Kakashi. So you were just on a mission. I haven't seen you in 19 days! Was the mission that tough?"

You gaze at her, emotions covered by your mask, and turn back to your novel. "Fine," you answer after a while.

"Oi, oi. Are you even listening to me? Seriously. First you avoid me and now you pretend you don't hear me. More like you pretend to listen to me. I don’t even know which one is worse. I-I didn’t do anything to upset you, did I?” her voice holds a serious edge as she looks at you, your hand returning to your side as she releases her hold.

The onslaught of sentences surprises you. Was she really counting the number of days that she did not see you? And what's with the last question?

You do not answer her. More specifically, you can't answer the words for the answers doesn't seem clear to you too. You just look at her with more intensity than necessary.

But of course, she cannot see it. Not with the mask and Junko on the way. Not with the barriers you place between the two of you.

She sighs and bites her lip after a few minutes has passed and not even a breathe can be extracted from your mouth.

The wind blows across your faces and you watch as her pink tendrils fly across her face. Her expression is unreadable as she crosses a few steps towards you. She lifts her left hand to your face only to change her mind before it reached its destination. It settles on her ear to fix the unkempt strands of her hair behind her ear.

She purses her lips and whispers, "Do you even see me, Kakashi?"

And then she vanishes in a flurry of pink petals.

- - - -
You do not see her for weeks. You tell yourself that you are not really looking for her because searching is useless. Searching for a needle in a haystack is much easier than searching for a person who does not want to be found.

You do not even know what you are going to do once you find her.

After 20 days of not seeing her - you are the one counting now - you stumble to the local waterhole due to the invitation of Genma since according to him, you are currently in need of a life and possibly a lay too. You accept his invitation just to shut him up. (He's been bugging you for 6 days already. You count this too since it has been 14 days since you last saw Sakura before he started pestering you.)

In a moment of inebriation, you tell Genma about the last conversation you had with Sakura. He just smacks you (hard) when you ask what the hell she meant.

"You stupid man. She practically asked you to jump her and you didn’t?" he screams in frustration. He leaves you with your bottle of beer, your thoughts and his tab.

(You decide to kill Genma later on because of five bottles of sake and that stupid reply he gave you.)

It is half-past 12 when you decide to go home and sleep the alcohol in your system away.

You sway your way to the streets, trying very hard not to stumble and scratch your face with the pavement. As you pass the corner of the street two streets from your apartment you see her there, carrying her medical kit and trudging wearily to her apartment. Since she won't be able to keep her guard up, you take this opportunity to corner her and ask her why the hell did she suddenly disappearwhen she was the one who invited you to eat out. Normally, you don’t even have the courage for confrontations; however, an inebriated you do not work in normal situations.

She is about to go inside her apartment when you suddenly push both of you inside and trap her. Your hands are at each side of her head, her back pressed on the wall and her medical kit lay open on her floor.

"You!" You say huskily but don’t continue for the words seem to slip off your tongue. The alcohol does not help either for it only contributed to the vagueness of your mind.

"K-kakashi? What the hell are you doing here? On second thought, get off me first before you answer," she struggles against you. You are having a hard time seeing her face so you lean closer, your nose mere inches from hers. Her breathing comes in short pants, emerald eyes wide with shock. "Why?" This is the only word that slips her lips in her current state of confusion.

"I can ask you the same thing," you say. The alcohol seems to impair your eyesight too and you lean much closer now in an attempt to see her clearer. "You – you’re avoiding me.”

“What makes you say that?” She does not meet your eye.

“Look at me.” You say as you hold her chin so you can meet her eyes.

She half-chuckles and half-snorts. “This is déjà vu. Anyway, get off Kakashi. You’re heavy. What do you want?” she finally breathes, completely distracted.

“You.”

“Liar. I don’t understand you. And you’re drunk.”

You do not yield to her struggles. Instead, you pin her hands each beside her head. You decide that you need to move closer to see her much clearer. “You are the one I don’t understand. You confuse me," you admit.

"I do?" she asks meekly, a bit intimidated by the closeness between the two of you.

"You say such confusing... questions." You toy with a strand of hair that strayed from her bun. "I don't know what to do with you anymore. Genma says that I should jump you.”

"You... you're not thinking straight. Stop." You can hear her gasp at your words, moan as your hand playing with her neck slides down to trace her collarbone, and the other one slips past beside her head and down to her hip, drawing circles over her uniform.

"Should I, Sakura?"

She is not sure what you are referring to. "Should you... what?"

You gaze at her emerald pools that betray her feelings. She is enchanted.

"Should I... jump you?" Your hand leaves her neck in favor of slowly lowering your mask, barriers long gone due to alcohol. You slowly sniff her scent, lips much closer to hers now.

Her hand slowly rests atop yours, helping you with the mask, pulling you towards her.

"Don't stop."

-*-
Chapter 1

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Annie Lleva

January 2012

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